An Introduction to Couches

A: "What are you guys doing tonight?"

B: "Well, we were going to go and burn uncle Chester's fields"

A: "Why would you burn his fields?"

B: "He's growing cotton and trees in these fields. He intends to use them to build some elongated, padded sitting units which will introduce a new way of comporting ourselves in our dens, which will affect social interaction greatly"

A: "I see, and I agree! He must be stopped! But must we resort to burning the fields?"

B: "It's the only conceivable method to employ. What else would we do? Destroy his factories perhaps? Occupy them when production is intended to commence? He's already had to squash an attempted uprising 2 fortnights ago, when workers tried to establish this fancy new thing they are calling "rights". I would rather let his factories alone, and corrupt the source at its literal "root".

A: "Interesting. I would enjoy messing with Uncle Chester. He's trying to install a new furniture ideology into the minds of our nation. He's already invented the padded stool, the love-seat, and the horrendous end-table. What a fool. I was satisfied with a few items in my living quarters. The simple chair was a dandy, and god-damn he had to go and put padding on it! What a bastard!

B: "Yes, our efforts will stifle his mad-progress toward revolutionizing the means of sitting. We need to revert to the old methods, old tactics. Yet, we could employ alternate methods to sabatoge the scenario as it is intended to unfold. We could import some foreign bugs and have them eat-away at the fields, I am sure our friend in the shipping industries could manage to help us with this."

A: "It is probable. But we would need a creature strong enough to
adapt and subsequently corrupt the environment, all in a quick manner; we need strength, strong bugs!

B: "I agree. It would be perhaps far to complex to implement with haste. We should just burn the god-damn fields and be done with it.

A: "Certainly. When shall we commence, tonight as planned?"

B: "I would argue we should opperate by stealth, thus, my initial suggestion reeks of logic.

A: "Fo' shizzle. We are highly refined in our faculties of deduction, are we not?"

B: "We are indeed".

A: "Yes".

B: "Chester's Fields will burn, a billowing blaze for the simple man's soul!"

Hatred from A to F

Person A: "I don't hate subjects, I just hate subjectivity" (Buddhist-Stoic Hero)

Person B: "I don't hate objects, I just hate objectivity" (Nihilist-Existentialist Hero)

Person C: "I don't hate theories/concepts/ideas, I just hate metaphysics"
(Quasi-Scientific Hero)

Person D: "I don't hate food, I just hate eating" (Bulimic-Model Hero)

Person E: "I don't hate consumption, I just hate production"
(Lethargic, Obese-Welfare Hero)

Person F: "I don't hate production, I just hate consumption" (Miser-Capitalist Hero)